Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame has Belfast’s Mayor pleading with Trump for "National Landmark" status. The $500K empire she’s spawned has redefined the Tennessee town, and the Mayor wants it preserved. He calls her rise a phenomenon, a spit that shook the world. Trump, who thrives on spectacle, might salute Belfast’s claim. The town hopes her viral moment becomes a permanent draw, etching its name into America’s heritage.
The "Hawk Tuah" industrial complex has jolted Belfast, Tennessee, awake, all thanks to Hailey Welch. Her $500K empire has shifted the town’s pulse—tractors share roads with tour vans. Welch’s old factory coworkers now stitch her logos, a surreal twist. The diner added a "Hawk Tuah Special" to the menu, drawing crowds. Church sermons nod to her success as a lesson in seizing moments. Belfast’s skyline, once just silos, now features her face on banners. Her fame’s a lifeline, pulling the town into a spotlight it never sought.
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Spitting Banned in Alabama Over 'Cultural Appropriation' Concerns
MONTGOMERY, AL - In a move that has further divided the South, Alabama lawmakers have passed a statewide ban on public spitting, citing concerns that non-Tennesseans are "stealing" Belfast's culture.
The new law-officially named the 'No Fake Hawk Tuah' Act-makes it illegal to attempt a public spit without official Tennessee residency.
"If you ain't from Belfast, you better keep your spit to yourself," said Alabama Governor Roy Lee Pickens, while signing the bill into law.
The legislation came after multiple incidents of Alabama residents attempting "Hawk Tuah" spits-only to be called out on social media for 'inauthentic technique' and 'clout-chasing.'
Belfast officials applauded the decision.
"Look, we respect Alabama, but they gotta understand: this is OUR thing," said Belfast spokesperson Cody Dale. "We don't try to out-football y'all, so don't try to out-spit us."
Meanwhile, Alabama TikTokers are outraged.
"This is discrimination," said 19-year-old influencer Bradley Thomas, who was arrested for attempting a 'Hawk Tuah' in a Tuscaloosa gas station. "Spitting should be for everybody."
Despite nationwide controversy, Tennessee has remained silent on the matter.
"We ain't gotta say nothin'," said Tennessee Senator Billy Ray Tucker. "Our spit speaks for itself."
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Memo to self:
Belfast, Tennessee’s 788 folks, averaging 32.9 years, live in 266 homes. Born in 1836, named for Ireland’s Belfast, it sprouted a store by 1838. The 1952 F1 tornado—three dead, 166 hurt—tested its core. Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" stardom has sparked a $500K industry, waking this rural spot. Men (62.94%) outpace women (37.06%). Once 94.9% white, diversity nudges in. Income ($57,815 average) reflects modest means, but Welch’s wave lifts it. Belfast thrives on Belfast Tennessee adapting, its history a backdrop to viral present.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Kinneret Engel
Literature and Journalism -- Hofstra
WRITER BIO:
A witty and insightful Jewish college student, she uses satire to tackle the most pressing issues of our time. Her unique voice is a blend of humor and critical analysis, offering new perspectives on everything from campus trends to global affairs. Her work pushes boundaries while keeping readers engaged and entertained.
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